R.E.B.I.R.T.H

the lie....!!!

2008-08-08T10:01:00.004+08:00

I have been trying to conjecture the most logical or an authentic lie that i could possibly think of and explain why have i not been updating. like;

-my pc was infected with millions of bugs and on the same day my anti-virus expires.

-i was toooOOOooo busy helping out with kak nur's wedding.

-i was caught up with work that i'm too tired to switch on my pc.

-my primary 5 brother is on the pc 24/7.

the truth is i am just plain lazy....

abandoned from time to time

2008-04-02T23:02:00.002+08:00

i hate this awful silence. i can't stop myself from thinking of her. she's like a parasite in a ethical way. i don't why i miss her so much and the thing is, when i'm talking to her or even smsing her, i will try not to show it. you know guys, "ego". but yeap, i really do. i really miss her a lot. i hope she's missing me like i do. but i'm certain that that's very unlikely as she'll be busy with her activity, her kids, her briefing, her debrief and the list goes on and on. so once again the dancer is tangoing alone.

sometimes, i do sit down and mull over. should i be doing this? is this what i really want? will i love her perpetually? yes, i know. you're thinking why do i need to think about all those when i'm profoundly in love with her. well, i don't know how can i answer that question. sigh. but beyond the shadow of a doubt, i am deliriously in love with her. maybe i just need more attention from her. maybe i just need more time to spend with her. maybe i just need more love from her. or maybe i just miss her.

to be honest, i felt abandoned when she kept on doing her camps. i do understand that that's her source of income for time being but she's starting school shortly and i miss spending quality time with her. well, maybe it's my fault. i should cherish every moment we spent together, it's not like i don't. but i think i should cherish more. i appreciate every little thing she had done for me but maybe i should appreciate more.

i now, vow that i'll love her for all time.

p.s. yana, i love you

helplessly waiting

2008-04-01T01:58:00.003+08:00

it's 2 in the morning and i'm yet to receive 1 sms or even a simple phone call from her which i've been helplessly waiting for since noon. gosh, i really miss her. i really really do. i tried to bore myself to sleep but all those countless attempt failed. i just need to hear her voice, those sweet, soft, angel like voice before i head to lalaland. now, it's the only time i don't mind arguing with her as i could still hear her voice. omg, i think i'm going bonkers.

dear yana,

i miss;

-your presence that never fails to make me feel special

-your touch that constantly makes me feel loved

-your hugs that comforts me from the nasty cold night

-your kisses which is arguably the best and the most passionate kiss of all

-your sunsilky sweet smelling hair

-your leftover chocolate chip below your left jaw

and if you sum that all up...

I MISS YOU!!

rocking chair

2008-03-31T19:51:00.006+08:00

oh my....i hope she's eating well and taking care of herself. omg, i miss her already. i don't know why but i'm worried. goodness. i sound so yesterday. i mean, do you recall back the time when we were younger and going through one our earlier relationship. relationship? hah. more like puppy love. yup, those time. when uttering words like i miss you or i love you is like so orthodox. miss those sweets moments, and i wasn't referring to the puppy love but how premature, raw or undeveloped i was and yet falling in love. how absurd.

well, i can't still remember this puppy love story i went through. i think it was back in 1996. when i was in primary five. i'm already in stitches even before i'm even getting to the birth of the story. haha. i had a crush on this girl since i was in primary one i think. the crush sustained for four years. the thing is this girl and i were in the same class from primary 1 till primary four. but she advanced to 5n1 but i went to 5n4. then i recalled saying this to myself at that point of time, "great, now she not in your class. you had already wasted 4 years, how many more years do you want to waste"? haha. can you imagine that. goodness.

but it doesn't end there. i flocked up all my courage and admit to her my so-called "love" for her. i can still recall that day, boy was i the happiest kid in school or what? haha. on that very day, when school ends, we met up in front of the school dentist and she passed me letter that she had written for me. awwwww....... haha. and in that letter she wrote, akasha, actually i've been liking you since primary 1. haha.. and of course i replied," NO WAY!!! i like you since then too. maybe we're fated, maybe we're meant to be together!!". haha. what a young romeo i was. haha. :)
anyway, if i can recall correctly we went on together for not more than 4 days. haha.

sometimes, thinking of all this "sweet moments" will just help you to relax, smile and stop worrying! there's this saying. a good friend once told me.

"worrying is like

a rocking chair,

it gives u something to do

but gets you nowhere".

advance to go

2008-03-31T13:00:00.003+08:00

why? oh why when i'm out with my friends she'll repeatedly mention that since i'm with my friends i'll neglect her? i mean i totally understand how she feels but forget it... it's my own problem anyway, and i think i'm inappropriate for me to post it for everybody to read. Personally, i think i'm suffering from paranoia. all i need to do is to just sleep over it and with god's will, i'll be fine.

anyway, yesterday's monopoly game was bowled over. yes, you maybe thinking, "oh, it's just a game". i know that but the engrossing part is that instead of using cash, we're using monopoly's credit cards. and i'm not talking bout $10, $20, $50, $100, $500 boys and girls. we're playing in millions. you'll be credited 15 million dollars to your monopoly's credit card. and instead of pass go and collect $200. you're getting 2 million dollars instead. how freaking cool is that... but may i remind you, for those who have been playing normal monopoly, this might sound easy but it sure isn't. haha.. guess what? i was super bankrupt yesterday. haha. my total loss was 84.4 million dollars. yes, it means i owe the bank that amount. so if you think playing monopoly can get personal, wait till you try this version of monopoly. it's maniacally insane!!

i simply can't wait for next sunday. i think sunday night is monopoly night for me. hell yeah... haha. =]

who i want to meet?

2008-03-30T19:38:00.004+08:00

- Never ever sucking on the lime
- Usually kissing me goodnight when i need to be alone
- Rendezvous out on the fire escape
- Make time to live a little for me
- A ghost of royalty imposing love
- Loves taking chances as this romance is rising
- Yardstick of my quondam tales
- A supernatural nightlight
- Never fails to show me new possibilities
- Addictively beautiful in my pair of eyes
- Hold on to me as I will keep her safe in these arms of mine.

Go Figure....

busy like a bumble bee..

2008-03-28T11:58:00.002+08:00

my precious is out of town as she got a 3 days 2 nights camp in kota. i'd be lying if i were to say i miss her. i miss her so so so much. too damn much that i hardly concentrate on my job. heh. but the good news is she'll be back today. i really we could meet up. i just wanna embrace her tight. i know it's a weird thing to say but there's just somethibng about her that i just cant let her go. just put love aside. i mean, yes, i do love her but it's something else. yes, i love her because of her 'bimboness'. but its not that either. she have this strange thing that makes me so attracted to her. its so alluring that i need nothing else except her. oh ya, and money too. hehe. i've been in alot of relationship but with her its like going through our honeymoon period over and over and over and over again. i know it sounds fucking cliche but in an odd kind of way, urban legend or not, i'm not afraid but yes, i feel like she's the one i'm gonna spend my life with 5-6 years down the roads. creepy..

well got to go. i got to shower and head for the mosque....

allahuakhbar!!!!

finally

2007-11-14T01:52:00.000+08:00

finally i got the contracts just now... man, it was beautiful. i've seen nothing like that so far. or maybe its just my first programme. so if there's anyone out there who wants to make money just tag my tagboard, would be glad to share with you...

god, thank you for this opportunity.

a tribute to Abbas and Mayan

2007-11-13T11:25:00.000+08:00

i would like to post this entry to Abbas and Mayan. thank you for your enthusiasm. we'll make money together. and now that the contracts are ready, let's grow some MONEY!!!!!

beyond my control

2007-10-31T01:59:00.000+08:00

my apologies the all my fellow bloggers for not updating my blog for the longest amount of days. (like as if i got millions of visitors) . but nevertheless, it wont hurt apologising.

by the way, i just got home safely and drenched earlier and i know the thought of where did i go?, who was i with?, what time i end work? is akasha ok? is akasha wearing his windbreaker? and it's raining heavily, why didn't you call me? is invading yana's mind for the past few hours. so i would like to apologise to yana as well. since you're already asleep and you're not online? i'll just state my explanation here............

i was caught in the pouring rain earlier and the reason that made me got home late was because it was raining so heavily that i had to stop at the nearby expressway flyover to take shelter. i mean of course i do had my windbreaker on but it was too risky for me to carry on riding in that condition.

i can't see the road, i can't physically see the road and in that kind of rain even going at 45-50km/h is like thousands of needles piercing through my skin. so instead of enduring the pain i stopped.

so my dearest yana, i'm sorry for making you wait and worried you to sleep. but this thing is beyond my control. i can't possibly do anything. it is the force of nature.....

thank you....

2007-10-25T00:28:00.000+08:00

gosh..... i cant possibly believe that we past the one and the half year mark. well, things won't happen without your love yana. i really appreciate that alot. you've been really patience with everything. my attitude, my graveyard working hours, my sarcasms, my irrelevant blabbering. thank you for making me yours as i trully dote on every single second that we've been together. and no, i will never ever forget those quarrels we had as well. because without those rough journey that we went through, we won't understand each other better. so thank you for those down moments.

yana, in this past 18 months, you've taught me alot.. ALOT!!

you made me a calmer person
you mould me into sensible man
you made me understand the word 'love'
you made me realise that it's worth living
you made me worry about my future which make me work harder
you made me start liking my parents
you sculpt me into becoming a better person
and there are thousands and thousands more...

yana i will always remember the time you supported me financially when we first meet. yes people, i was broke and my dear yana supported me. but thanks to that i'm obligated. so yana, those stuffs that i surprised you with, those wonderful, short yet memorable bangkok trip and those mouthwatering dishes we had won't stop there. there'll be more. plus all those can't even come close to what you done and sacrificed for me.

so i would like to end this post by saying; yana, happy 18th months and thank you for loving and appreciating me. i'll treasure you for a long, LONG time...

and yana, it's hard for a guy to admit this but, right now.... i'm telling the World Wide Web that i want to have grandchildren with you! i do! I DO!!

i want to be a kid!!!

2007-10-17T01:15:00.000+08:00

where's my green packets........??

get well soon

2007-10-17T01:01:00.000+08:00

sigh......

yana hasn't been feeling good for the past few days. she's down with flu, cough, occasional blocked nose and sore throat. God, heal her soon please. i'm worried sick. if i could i would rather suffer and not her. she's been really moody but i do understand why. and i appreciate and salute her for putting her sickness aside just to enjoy herself when we met up on monday. you've been such a dear, yana! i'll be praying for your wellness. that i promise you.

-get well soon-
-muackzZz-

where's my pictures??

2007-10-14T01:49:00.000+08:00

first of all i would like to apologies to all you for not updating for the past few days. i was busy with work, family, Hari Raya preparations, helping yana's dad to paint the door and lots more. secondly i want to say to my lovely yana that i'm sorry for the absence. too tight up with work! but fear not, i'll make up for it.. furthermore the main reason i've not update is because yana haven't send me the pictures we took when we were paintings the doors. hmmm... yana.. it's been almost a week already.. where's my pictures.. hehe :)

well first day of Hari Raya didn't turn out the way i planned it to be or even the way i should be. for some reason i didn't enjoy myself except during the earlier part. (and NO!! it's not because i didn't get any green packets!! NO!!) the earlier part of the day was soOOoo fun. i went to yana's place to take the brownie she baked for me and the 'kerepek' her mom bought for me.. and ended up chatting my time away with her dad. thank you love for sparing some time, spending extra money and staying a little bit later just to bake for me those sinful decadence. i appreciate it a lot, A LOT!! thank you.

oh ya, not forgetting Mr. Mossadats(yana's dad). he is so hilarious when he complimented himself on how charming and handsome he was then when he's a band boy. how cute. haha. but along the line, he did taught me some important lesson about life, future, career etc. i really look up to him. i mean, i'm only yana's boyfriend but the concern he showed earlier this morning was... was... was.... i don't know i'm speechless. yana darling, you have a wonderful dad. no doubt

and finally to end it all, i just want to tell my friends that i'm sorry if i had hurt yours feeling, had unintentionally utter harsh words or gossiped behind your back.

Selamat Hari Raya
Maaf Zahir Batin

'cik, boleh tumpang raya'?

2007-10-03T01:36:00.000+08:00

the count down for hari raya had begun and all the spring cleaning is taking place. well, to be frank, i don't seem to be as overjoyed as i used to when i was a kid. maybe its because i'm no longer entitled for green packets anymore. being a malay sucks. let's think of it this way

chinese - as long as your not married you'll get a hong bao
indian - the older you are, the bigger the amount
malay - ONCE YOU HAD FINISHED STUDYING, YOU STOP GETTING!!!

how ridiculous can that be!! which bloody ketupat came out with that logic. cheapskates!! haha.

i still recall when i was still a kid back then, i'll try my very best to not miss a day of fasting as my dad told me that oneday cost $1. and $30 was quite a big amount for a small kid. so of course i'll die die won't skip a day of fasting. not only that me and my bunch of friends would randomly go to any malay house and say, 'cik, boleh tumpang raya'? which indirectly means cik, can we get green packets from you. haha, maybe i was born to be a salesperson. haha. those days hari raya was different, the atmosphere was excellent, the colourful, twinkling lights, the smell of baked cookies, the fire sparkles etc. now i rarely see all those!

by the way, yana asked me if i could assist her in painting her house's gate this sunday. i'm so looking forward for that. speaking of raya and the preparations, i haven't bought myself a baju kurung, still haven't figure out what colour i want to get for this year's raya.. so baby, bazaar geylang date for us. hehe.

let there be light

2007-10-02T01:41:00.000+08:00

i had so much fun today..

fetch yana from school earlier.
well her class ends at around 1630
and not wanting to be late i left home
early but that wasn't the main reason
why i left early. its just that i had a few
stuffs to settle before meeting yana.

renewal of road tax

traffic police fine $70

hdb parking fine $25 (warning letter)

anyway i got fine for $25 for parking without a coupon. actually it should cost me only $8 but because of i had few months ago season parking coupon, i got $25!! i mean... forget it. don't wanna talk about it.

so i settled a few stuffs before meeting yana. and afraid of being late and get a hell of a nag from my beautiful yana. i zoomed of to republic polytechnic and the smart ol' me reached there at 1600. so yeap, that's part of my life, 'wait to rush' & 'rush to wait'. but still the boredom disappears upon seeing yana rushing and gasping for air running towards my bike. hehe quite an adorable sight though.

we break our fast at beach road and we had the followings..........

1x sup tulang(despite us both wearing white)

1x mutton chop

1x mee goreng merah

2x milo blend

1x pepsi twist(a must have for me)

met the rest of my camp friends at kallang after that and bak came slightly later as he was from pasir ris. bak was on cloud9 today and god knows why? oh ya, i fixed my bike today as well... i changed the spark plug, changed engine oil, change brake drum, did the lights both hi-beam and lo-beam and not forgetting the taillight as well.

SO LET THERE BE LIGHT..................

december 22 - january 20

2007-10-01T01:30:00.000+08:00

Traditional capricorn traits:

practical
prudent
ambitious
disciplined
patient
careful
humorous
reserved

On the dark side....

pessimistic
fatalistic
miserly
grudging

liar, liar, pants on fire!!!

2007-10-01T01:17:00.000+08:00

i closed a deal.........!!

i closed a deal.........!!

i closed a deal.........!!

and to that woman who signed the agreement with me earlier. don't try to lie to me that you have only got one credit card(DBS). a saw your other credit cards in your purse, at least three more... LIAR!!!

but still who got the last laugh..

hahahahahahaha........!!

the mathematics of life

2007-09-27T22:47:00.001+08:00

what do you get when you add......

happy,
sad,
in love,
frustrated,

weird,
enthusiastic,
pissed off,
afraid,
annoyed,
lonely,
grumpy,
lost,
puzzled,
weak and
excited

all together? could someone tell me the answer please as this is what i've been feeling since the moment i switched on my comp.

~sigh~

read and reflect

2007-09-27T22:25:00.000+08:00

HDB parking fines,
red warning letters,
cigarettes fine,

court letters,

lawyer letters,
bike payment,
etc...................

Allah, what are you trying to teach me.
till when can i endure?
are you teaching me to be patience?
what? what? WHAT?

or are you teaching me to be grateful?
Allah, you do know for a fact that i am grateful.
ok, i understand that i'm not been praying 5 times a day,
going for friday prayers, praising you but
Allah, i too need your guidance,
i too need your love,
i too need your sympathy.
but i know that i haven't been kind to you.
maybe it ain't fair for me to be blessed by you
since i've not been doing any of your commandments religiously

but, i really need you to lighten my burden.
even half of it i'll be grateful.
i know Allah, i know i've been such a hypocrite.
i know i should share my sorrows with you and my family and friends.
but i'm too ashamed!

but i'm thankful for all this.
at least you woke me up and
allow me to sit and think.

you've taught me a painful lesson Allah!
i've learnt my mistakes but please dont stop loving me,
guiding me,
pampering me and
protecting me.
i need you Allah... i need you!

-amin-

night night

2007-09-27T01:50:00.000+08:00

"roses are red,
violets are blue,
i'm not much of a poet,
but yana, i love you...."

-good night and sleep tight my love-

2007-09-27T01:12:00.000+08:00

dear bak,

falling in love isn't hard but falling out of love is the one that make people go crazy. and sometimes falling in love is sooOOoo easy that you're afraid that you are the only one falling in love. but allow me to tell you something my dear friend and to whoever that will be reading this post. love is not about how beautiful he/she looks like, is not about how smart he/she is, is not about how rich he/she is. love is all about putting yourself in a position lower than the "lover" and humbly learn to appreciate every single moment of the time spent together. and never, i repeat, never think that he/she is the one.

let's just take me for example...

i love yana, yes! and never ever once have i hated her. of course there were times that the both of us fought or quarrel with one another but never did i hate her or even raise my hands at her. (raising of voice is a different issue). i simply love her but through it all, i never think that she's the one. i mean if it happens, it happens. things happen for a reason. and yana feel the same way about me too. and what we're doing is that we are working hand in hand to make it happen. we'll love each other till god forbids us to be with each other, we get angry at one another if we make mistakes or crossed the line and we compliment each other when we did something good. i mean we're still to young to think about commitments. and yana knows that. i even told her that i'm just a boyfriend, i'm just a status higher than her friends so that doesn't make me to have the right to say that she's the one. i mean it's pretty complicated until you can things like how i do.

bak, love is a wonderful thing. so have patience and work your way through to make it happen and not pray for it to happen. do forgive me if it's too direct but bak, i'm your friend. i rather you hate me now than you being heartbroken later...

just remember this

"if it happens, it happens... things happen for a reason.."

2007-09-27T00:04:00.000+08:00

"to love someone is good and
to be love by someone is better,

but to love and be love

by that same person is still the best."

go away!! i wanna sleep

2007-09-26T04:36:00.000+08:00

well if you'll haven't notice, i am awake,
a special thanks to mommy that is..
and i swear this is recently the most rated no. 1
super duper irritating word ever,

" KASHA............., SAHUR " !!

argh...

yours truly

2007-09-26T01:35:00.000+08:00

baby, baby, baby.... i had fun just now though it wasn't much but what the heck!being with you for 17 months is amazingly entertaining, marinated with lots of love and topped of with lots of care and concern. boy, i am lucky to be yours. thank you so much. i appreciate every seconds of it. and i really do mean every sec. like...

- how you held my hand when we riding on my vespa,
- how much you love to make pinky promises,
- how much you love oreo cheesecake,
- how much you love playing pepsi-cola-1-2-3,
- how much you love shoes but it's damn hard to get your size,
- how much you love puncak's fried wanton,
- how much you love your family,
- how much you love chocolate fondue,
- how much you love shopping, blogshopping and window-shopping,
- how much you love to play with my babat,
- how much you love to tease my that i'm fat,
- how much you love ice mountain,
- how much you love cookies,
- how much you love to take our pictures together,
- how much you hated cats, dogs, snakes and lizards,
- how much you care about hygiene,
- how much you love to hang out till late but afraid of your naggy mom,
- how much you love your dad to speak to you instead of your mom,
- how much you hate me going back late,
- how much you love watching movies even if it was boring(deathproof),
- how much you love to smell my armpit,
- how much you love the cologne i'm using,
- how much you love midnight cookies & cream (haagen dazs),
- how much you love pumping petrol for me,
and the list goes on and on.........

but the bottom line is that. i love you yana!! and i really love being yours.

thank you!!

HAPPY 17th MONTH........

-lots of love-

when the modem thinks that it's april fools today

2007-09-25T00:03:00.000+08:00

i swear that this is the out most irritating moment throughout the whole day.. i can't log in to msn. how crappy is that!! and i know somewhere in bukit batok someone is anxiously waiting for me to be in msn so as we could simply gossip about everything under the sun. argh... can u imagine how baffled i am. but apart from all this i have to say that i had a wonderful time breaking my fast at yana's place just now. it was fulfilled with lots of laughter. such a bliss. and not forgetting the sweet, yummy, addictive chendol.. arhhhhhhh... it was ecstasy. yes it was...... =)

journey to the west???

2007-09-24T01:43:00.000+08:00

well, my day today was pretty much boring. did nothing except for playing DOTA, watching DVD and thinkinh of all the glorious food i could chomp on later. haha!! but at least i didn't break my fast alone. i invited bakhtiar and faizal to my place. and out of the zillion glorious food in the entire world that i could think of, i cooked maggi mee!! how pathetic. but it was nice and HOTT and SPICY and FIERY!! haha. sorry faizal!! but that wasn't all, faizal bought additional food from burger king.

and after breaking our fast, the three of us head to jurong point to meet yana, za and azie. walked around for awhile and azie suggested to walk around 'pasar malam', so we went just to get three can drinks and za bought a stick of japanese chicken and that's it. the rest of the time at 'pasar malam' we walked at the bus interchange instead of the 'pasar malam' itself. how ironic. haha!

after a few malboros' and sampoerna i sent yana home and head to west coast and meet up with the rest of the guys. abbas, danial, rasul, wan, and amin. from there we decided to make our way to jurong west st 42 to see the 'monkey-tree'. my god, i can't believe that people believe in all this plus there were too many believers that the government need to put barricades along the roadside. i don't know about the monkey or the trees but one thing i know is that, that place is the most easiest place to get a cab. and i mean it. dozens of cabs were there praying, taking pictures, asking for 4d numbers and other supernatural stuffs. god it was crazy.

so yeap.... that's my journey to the west. haha!!

2007-09-23T17:59:00.000+08:00

one more hour to go........

sunblocks please...

2007-09-18T14:57:00.000+08:00

hurray.. i'll be doing camp for tomorrow but yana isn't doing as her new semester just reopens yesterday. it's weird doing camps without yana. yana is the person who brought me in to camp industry. i love it. I LOVE IT!!! and so if i were to do camp without her ain't it weird. but with or without yana i'll still do it. well if i'm not mistaken this coming camp is Sembawang Primary School. haha... primary school! bullying time.. hehe

and guess what?? i brought along a friend of mine, faizal to do attachment with me.. haha. i hope he won't get a culture shock. don'w worry bro, everything will be okay.

ok, i guess i'll just update more once i'm back from camp. i really need to rush. i need to fetch yana from school, go to geylang and break fast at arnolds, meet faizal.

life is simply.............................

2007-09-18T01:22:00.001+08:00

Life is not the amount of breaths you take, it's the moments that take your breath away.

finally i watched it

2007-09-17T09:22:00.001+08:00

-may the wind always be at your back, and the sun always upon your face,and may the wings of destiny carry you aloft to dance with the stars.-

i've been wanting to watch this for ages. and it finally happened. well i'm not gonna tell you what it's all about, go watch it if u want to know what it's about. there's nothing much i can say on regards to this excellent movie but i did learn a few lessons for here.

"Money isn't real. It doesn't matter. It only seems like it does."

19 years and one day later...

2007-09-17T08:45:00.000+08:00

well, firstly i would like to apologise as i haven't been religiously updating my blog. the weird part was i don't know what to say. i simply don't. i mean there's millions of topics i can touch on, millions of wonderful moments spent with my baby, my friends, the camps that i did, the chalet but i just don't know what to write. it was my baby's birthday yesterday! even so i didn't make an effort to update anything or even wish her happy birthday on my blog. so i woke up earlier on this beautiful morning, kick-start my brain and i'm off to http://yujilee.blogspot.com/ to try to say something. even if it's just a sentence, even if it's just a phrase, i don't bloody care i just wanna post something.

yana, thank you for a wonderful feast yesterday, i shit with full satisfaction this morning. haha.
it was like if u can go to seoul garden, make seoul garden come to you and that was what exactly happened. yana's mom bought this electric, seoul garden like BBQ thingy. well, if u have no idea what i'm blabbering about and for easier explanation we had seoul garden atr home. is that cool or what or what or what!!!! there was like tom yam soup, some weirdly marinated squid, prawns, black pepper chicken, quail eggs, tofu, mushrooms, fish cakes, cabbage, tomatoes and lots more. yana's mom cooked fried rice and crispy fried chicken so i had that while waiting for my for my other stuffs to be barbecued to perfection. there's more..... there are two porridge from different mosque, kueh-mueh. i was a feast i tell you. i really was.

after everyone had their equal share of food, we reserved some space for the birthday cake. the cake.. ahhHHHhhh it was divine!! i have no idea what's the name of the cake, from which bakery or even how much but for all i know it was evil... it was chocoliciously evil.

thank you yana. i had a blast.

happy birthday to you,
happy birthday to you,
happy birthday to Yana,
happy birthday to you............

lots of love

i won't ever scream again

2007-08-28T01:22:00.000+08:00

well its my off day today so i met yana and spent some quality time together. and firstly i wanna thank yana for the wonderful time spent earlier. i appreciate every minute of it. especially the pool session. i know that u don't play and always had to watch your friends play. and i know that it gets more and more boring as time passes by. thank you for that..

*ok, if you guys viewed my friendster before do read the 'likes' and 'dislike' part. i believe i did mention something about me hating CLOWNS, DOLLS ang HORROR MOVIE (ok if i didn't say anything about horror movies, i'm telling u now. I HATE IT!!! SCARED THAT S*#T OUT OF ME).

yes i'm a pussy. call me whatever u wish, i won't mind. i watched 'dead silence' with yana and my other instructor friends before we proceed to the pool parlour. the title of the movie is scary enough for me but the worst part was its about dolls that look like a clown. what the hell... can u imagine that i got the 3 most hated things in my life all in one. i really think that the director have a serious grudge on me. i really really think so. and i almost soiled my pants. allow me to roughly summarize the story; its basically about a doll that well scare u and if u scream it'll rip your tongue off. man, that's like my 2nd most important part of my body. without it, it be just called kissing instead of french kissing. so seriously need my tongue. so i told myself that i won't ever scream again. maybe it's not that scary to you people but it is for me. what can i say i am a woman who is trapped in a man's body. hehe

i won't prolong this topic i'll just skip to the next. so right after the movie and pool, i went to the arcade with yana and played a few games, we played daytona but didn't complete it. that's because we both suck. played house of the dead 2, and to be honest i'm even afraid of that too. haha. but that we manage to play quite far. but i died first. haha. then yana played puzzle bobble where she wasted two tokens there. i don't know whether she sucked or is it too hard. i don't think that it's that hard so she must have sucked at it. =] sorry baby.

but i had fun today. after six long days of working i finally to to rest and meet my love. looking forward for the next.

p.s. but not another horror movie please!!!!!

workaholic's weekend

2007-08-26T12:46:00.000+08:00

it's bloody sunday for god sake and i have to be in the office. and the worst part is i have to be in the office every other weekend. damn. but i learnt alot working here.

anyway, i got a business proposal. i'm looking for graphic designer (let it be experienced, certified or amateurs) i'm looking into publishing magazines. f*#king stressed thinking of the financial logics but i know it'll work. god, i need you by my side now. i quit my wine investment job just because i don't wanna give my mom money made by dealing with alcohol. i hope u see it as a good deed and make my magazine project a success. Yana, i don't think i've mention this to you. well, yeah.. it's a publishing business.

oh my, it's already 1 pm. yana, i'll elaborate the details to you someday. i gotta get my arse to work now. lovelove

if i could turn back time

2007-08-26T12:07:00.000+08:00

i chatted with dauntey earlier and boy, i miss him! as i was talking to him i began to miss my NYP friends. especially abu, fadil, farhan mok, samir, suhaimi, hairul, farhan noordin,yani, nad, linda, ad, dipz, shamie, nad and the list goes on.................. i really really miss you guys. i miss the chalets we had, the ghost hunting session, the 'yo-bro' day on every 13th of the month, the sheesha session, the esplanade hang-outs, the 'chop-chili-chop', the lollipops on valentine's days, the taman rose dinner, the laughters, the arguments, the stickers with all our names underneath the table at McDonald's canteen, the floorball training, the soccer match at the hockey pitch.......... i miss all those! only if i could turn back time, if only i could. i've been really egoistic about this. deep down inside i really miss you guys but i'm just ashamed to admit. :(

hope to keep in touch with you ppl.

it's our day today

2007-08-25T01:40:00.000+08:00

baby, thank you for being amazingly patience with me. sorry if i had to trouble you to fetch me at tanjong pagar railway just because i was weak and down with fever. i really owe u too much. thank you for pampering me the whole day today and i'm sorry that we had to ride yujilee even when i'm sick. i know u were either scared or worried, or even both but that our only way of getting to one place to another. i will take care of myself k. by the way i just took 2 panadols a few minutes ago, hoping that my fever will subside.

at the stroke of midnight we had reached our 16th month. this relationship would be nothing without you being so kind-hearted and concern. thank you baby! i don't know how to thank you. and baby, i just recalled. i forgot to call Mr. Chris. i think he'll kill me tomorrow. man.... i dunno how to explain things to him..

today marked our strength baby. it really did. thanks for being by my side regardless i'm broke or with money, regardless i'm fit or weak, regardless happy or sad. i don't know what else to say as my mind is numbed or malfunctioning at the moment.

p.s. love you so much

brrrrr.......

2007-08-24T16:04:00.000+08:00

who could have predicted? the whole time i was on my bike earlier this morning it was drizzling the whole time, and just when i was about to reach west area it started to pour like it the end of the world. i was super drenched. called Mr. Chris upon reaching home as my momma was nagging the very second i step foot in the house. she nagged, "kasha, bos kau talipon!" which means, kasha, your boss called. so i called up my boss still in my soaked clothing and shiveringly talking to him.

and i showered right after talking to Mr. Chris as i'm feeling abit cold. and rested for a while before heading to work. without wanting my naggy momma to worry, i sneaked into the kitchen and popped a few panadols so that i'm fit for work. 'Positive Mental Attitude' is what i've been taught since the first day of training. and till today i abide to that rule.

take care... off to my office. ciao

its hard to swallow but i have to

2007-08-24T13:18:00.000+08:00

baby, i'm sorry for making you worry. i'm sorry for being such a lousy bf. i'll make up for it i promise.. i'll force myself to learn my mistakes. i promise i will. NO!! this is not another sweet lines or excuse. i will! but something inside me is just too stubborn, and made me repeat the same mistakes over and over and over again. but i'll physically force myself not to do so. i love you too much. i can't bear these shitty feelings, the guilt, the frustration, the agony.....

p.s. its hard to swallow but i have to

my sincere apology

2007-08-24T12:48:00.000+08:00

yana, please forgive me for my stupidity!!! i mean what else can i do except for apologising, but i understand if you don't wish to accept it. it's my mistake and i should learn it the hard way. i'm always taking you for granted but till i heard you crying earlier i felt so dumb. my mind's numb, i became timid. please yana, i couldn't bear to see, heard or even having the thought of you crying. i wasted litres and litres of your tears which shouldn't even roll down your cheek in first place.

God, is this my sole purpose in life? to be a heart-breaker? i don't find any joy doing so.. i seriously don't! i know this is a test for me, to be stronger but i don't understand, i simply don't!

yana, i really never meant to cause you trouble, i never meant to do you wrong. forgive me for the thought of all the stupid things I said, and the thought of all the stupid things Ive done.

p.s. i love you.

who said guys can't multi-task??

2007-08-23T13:01:00.000+08:00

my dearest god, i think i'm starting to hate blogging! it's f*#king addictive (forgive my language, God)

well, guess what? i'm actually wrapped in my towel with water dripping from my body. OOOoooooo....... Sexy, u think? nah...!!! i gained afew more kilos... argh!!! *yana, don't laugh?

and apart from being drenched and half-naked, i.........................just switch on the iron so as i can iron my shirt. haha. cool i can multi-task! yoohoo....!!! so ladies, you're wrong!! we guys can multi-task, just we're not as good as you ppl. i mean, erm... masturbating and visualising is still considered as multi-tasking right? hehe. see! we guys can multi-task(well guys, if you're reading this just gimme a silent OH YEAH!!) =]

My iron is hot already. damn, that sounds so wrong. but its true! *either way.......

ok, ok. i'll stop myself from talking crap and start wearing my undies, iron my shirt, put on my pressed powder and close some deals.. (God, can u just drop a filthy rich moron who have not been grateful to you, and drop him off in front of my office?

and before i go, "I LOVE YOU BABY!!!" i'll call u once i'm at the office. gotta run.

thank you!!

2007-08-21T23:27:00.000+08:00

my dear Yana, thank you for visiting me and keeping me company. just wanna let you know that i am indebted for what you've done for me today and everyday. thank you!!

argh..........!!!

2007-08-21T11:57:00.001+08:00

is this a sign or am i just being ridiculously insane????? i woke this morning earlier than any other day but the fucked up part is.. i sprained my neck!! it hurts really bad, i mean even before i sprained my neck, i already had an operation on my neck. if i'm not wrong it's called 'artificial disc deplacement'. in simplest term i got silicon injected in my neck. so ladies be jealous. haha.

anyway, i called up my boss and told him that i might be late as i want to see the doctor. i really hope that i can rest at home today.

well, i'm off to the shower, i can't possibly visit the doctor looking or smelling like this...

and my dear Yana, please don't worry too much. i'm fine. i'll update the medical results to u later. lovelove

i'm sorry

2007-08-21T01:52:00.000+08:00

To be honest, i had an arguement with my gf earlier. well, it was nothing much just a mini misunderstanding.. Ok..... i lied!!! it was my ego! i admit!! i am an egoistic bastard but thanks to Yana, she helped me into controlling myself and not like the evil me take control of my life.

Yana, pls forgive me for the little tiff we had earlier.

rome wasn't built in one day

2007-08-21T01:48:00.000+08:00

hello everyone... well i just create my very own blog. do excuse me if its too simple or plain. but you have to agree with me that rome wasn't built in one day..